It feels like kids are growing up faster than ever.  However thoughtful and well planned your child’s bedroom may have been, it can be not very comfortable for them the moment they’ve grown out of it.  The precarious age between eleven and thirteen is when most children realise they want a complete overhaul of their rooms.

You can help them do that!  Here are some steps you can take to help convert your kid’s room into an older kid’s room without having to start from scratch.

Check furniture sizes

Although a twin-sized bed can work for most tweens, the moment a kid hits around the age of sixteen or seventeen, that bed will feel small.  An upgrade that will let them have the compact space is to go for a daybed.  If you’d look at different sofa reviews, look around for a bed that matches what your child needs. Include your child in the decision by asking them to help you pick a style and colour, and when the furniture arrives, help them put it together.  Working with them on this can be a bonding moment.

Ensure there’s a study space

This age is when studying becomes essential.  Whether you get your kid a loft bed with a desk underneath or make a study nook in the corner of their room, they need a space where they can be free of all distractions.  Get them a comfortable chair, a small desk (you can find some great ones second hand!), and help them figure out where to put it that they’ll feel most eager to study.  The best orientation for a desk is facing out into a room since it allows them to feel less cluttered.

Let them make it their escape

Your child’s bedroom should be a space that makes them happy!  Help them realise that goal in any way you reasonably can.  A good option that will help them understand how far your money goes is to give them a budget for decoration.  Telling them they have a set amount to spend on Amazon to decorate their room will provide them with the push they might need to calculate what they want.  Whether they wish posters of their favourite singers or mini hexagon pinboards, they can litter their room with and let them take the lead.  It might not suit your tastes, but it should be what they want.

Give them guidelines

There are some things a tween might want on their walls that you might not want.  Give them general rules, like no hammering holes into the wall or no stickers on their computer, but don’t hold them back too much.  If there’s a poster or decoration you take issue with, talk to your child and figure out what makes them want that in their room.  Usually, you can talk them out of a wrong decision by helping them realise how strange their choice is.  If they are rigid set on something, and you don’t like it, have them put it on the wall that their door is on so that you don’t have to see it.  Sometimes the fight isn’t worth it.  Of course, any inappropriate imagery shouldn’t be up on their walls- if they go for that, stop them.

Help them organise

Please give them the tools they’ll need to keep a tidy room.  Having a teenager with a clean room doesn’t have to be impossible, despite how bizarre it sounds.  Help them set up an organised closet, desk, and game space that isn’t too intrusive in how they live in their room.  If they have a problem with it, work with them so that they can help fix it.  The goal is to show them how good having an organized space can be and how different it makes a room feel without coming off as preachy or controlling.  You have to make the organisation sound good and freeing.

Ask what they want from a bedroom

If you still aren’t sure what the goal is, ask your kid what they want from their room.  Your daughter might send you pictures of pretty rooms she sees on Instagram or TikTok, while your son may claim he wants it to be a gamer’s space where he can cut loose.  You can help them achieve these goals as long as you budget and move step by step.  At this age, they’ll be in your home for five to eight more years, set up the foundation for their room to be one they’ll want to visit from college often, and will keep clean through their high school years.  Please help make a space they can vanish into when they need to and invite you into when they need to talk about life.

Don’t let them shut you out

These years, when kids are defining who they are, it can be stressful for anyone around them.  If you’re not sure what to do with these changes, and you want to help them, it’s not impossible!  Talk to your kids, but don’t hover or cling.  Let them know they can come to you with anything, and be open and listen when they do.  If you judge them or react to your gut instinct, you could make them want to shut you out literally and figuratively.  Tweens are trailing a problematic line between hormones and peer pressure, and it’s a lot to undertake.  Listen to your kids, offer help when you can, and as long as you love them for who they are, they’ll be willing to talk to you about anything.