E has been suffering from a tummy bug since last Sunday. It started with vomiting, and then the stomach cramps came. We thought it would pass after a few days, but it got progressively worse. An out of hours doctors appointment and a trip to A&E later, we were told that it was a bug that needed to work its way out of his system. He perked up during the day after that but nights were awful. He would scream in pain, and we felt absolutely helpless. Painkillers did not seem to be giving him any relief, and he was doubled over and so distressed. It was hard seeing him like that.
Things came to a head on Saturday night – we knew there must be something else wrong and so off to A&E he went with Mr H again. This time they X-Rayed him and found that he hadn’t been emptying his bowels properly and the pain was caused by constipation.
I wrote the below in the early hours of Sunday morning because I was beside myself with worry.
To my biggest boy,
I don’t even know where to start, but right now, I feel sick. There’s a horrible pit of the stomach type feeling that I can’t shake off.
I just hope you’ll be ok.
I need you to be ok and to bounce back from this nasty bug or whatever it is you’ve had.
We’ve felt so helpless this last week. Seeing you in pain and not knowing how to ease it. Not knowing how to make it better instantly is the worse feeling in the world.
My beautiful boy. You’ve lost so much weight this last week and have not been yourself at all. I’ve never known you to be this poorly before.
We’ve spent the last week by your side, comforting you, promising you that the pain will pass soon, but it hasn’t…
Right now it’s almost 3am, and I’m sat at home waiting to hear from your daddy. He has to take you to A&E again this evening because we just couldn’t bear for you to be in this much pain anymore.
I desperately wanted to come with you and be there, but one of us had to stay behind and look after your brother. I know you’ll be in the best care, but I just can’t help but worry.
I’d worked myself up so much earlier I couldn’t stop crying. All sorts of things popped into my head, but I know I need to shake them out and wait for you to come home.
You’ve grown so much and will be 7 this year. You’re getting more and more independent as each day passes, but if I’ve learnt anything this last week it’s that it doesn’t matter how old you are, we will always always be here to hold your hand, to comfort and soothe you when you’re unwell.
We will always always be here for you, no matter what.
I don’t want you ever to forget that.
It’s hard to see you in so much pain
Screaming at the top of your lungs
I never want to see you this way again
All that matters is for you to be well
To be your old self again
Laugh, have fun and smile
I may not always be your favourite
But I have your best interests at heart
You probably think I’m mean at times
But the truth is way off the mark
I will always be here for you
Through the good and bad
To help wipe away the tears
Especially when you feel sad
My son you will always be
No matter how old you are
No matter how free
So this Mother’s Day
I don’t care about the chocolates
The flowers and the card
I just want a happy healthy boy again
Who fills up my heart